I'm closing up shop.

This blog has started to become something that it was not intended—again. So I’m calling it quits for now. The reason is because I feel like things are not moving forward. And so I am stuck in limbo. I’m not out—and yet the cat’s out of the bag. Considering a nasty “conversation” that I recently had… I don’t think that it will be changing anytime soon.

As I was going through my blog roll, I was in awe at the community that has been built out there. The exchanges that I saw going between the same bloggers over a variety of different sites, pulled at my heart. Lately, I’ve felt that I can’t participate in that. By being closeted, I feel that I don’t really belong. I’m like the ten year old who wants to hang out with his eighteen year old brother and his friends.

I want to thank those who have posted comments to this blog and even the few lurkers that may be out there. Peering Out isn’t totally dead, but posts will be few and far between. Best wishes to all of you.

Blogger sucks at picture posting

The beach that Season and I visited is located near the Cook Nuclear Plant. Before Sept. 11, the plant was open to the public and even had some magnificent dune trails. In order to visit the facility now, you have to tag along with a school tour. The plant is important to our local economy. After the attacks, the some locals reacted very strongly to rumors that Cook was going to be closed down. Luckily, it was no more than a rumor.


While walking through the sand, I noticed an odd sound. I wish that I could post a video of it, but I don't know how to do it. And even if I did, my 56k connection would test my patience. If you can imagine a combination of denim rubbing together and seal calls, that's what it sounds like. Season said that it was singing sand and that this area is one of the few places in the world that has it. "The More You Know." I'm not sure about that, but I've never noticed it when I when I swam at Lions Beach which was located a few miles north.

This was Al Capone's* house. Sorry for the bad quality but it was taken in twilight and through a windshield. I knew that Capone had been a visitor to our area of Michigan, but I didn't know he actually owned property. Season told me that there are underground tunnels linking this house to the guest house where his bodyguards stayed.





*At the time of this posting the Wikipedia article for Al Capone has been messed with. The information there was not reliable and still may not be.

I'm going to go hit something now

Oh my God. I had an butt load of pictures ready to be published and Blogger fouled it all up. I don't have the time to put them up again... so you'll have to wait. Sorry.

Lake Visit #1

Here are some pictures that I took when Season and I went to Weko beach in Bridgman. Because Blogger is acting all shitty right now, I'm going to put up the few remaining pictures at a latter time. So for now you'll have to enjoy these. And be grateful! It's not often I show my ugly mug on this site. :P

In order to preserve the dunes, these walkways had to be built. It's a good idea but it doesn't allow you the full experience of hiking the dunes. This was just a little bitty thing too.





Looking at the southern end of the lake where you can see Indiana.



No swimming yet. It's still draw-up-your-nuts cold!

More pics to follow I promise! Expect to see and read about a nuclear plant and singing sand. Oooooh, I know you're all excited.

Tennis time!

I haven't played tennis very many times. Probably about five times in my life. I remember the first time when I played with Greg. He's one of those guys that has to beat you at a game. He's a show-no-mercy type of guy. After being horribly whooped, I never played with him again. The next few times were with Dusty's then girlfriend, Jessica. She was pretty good and was thankfully patient with me.

This time around, I played with Season. I enjoyed it. We played for about an hour, completing two sets. Playing an actual game was somewhat boring as we couldn't manage to lob it back and forth in a competitive manner. So after the two sets, we just hit it to each other in a friendly way. That was a lot more fun and I actually got more of a work out. Speaking of which, my forearm is sore! :)
Clicking on the pictures will make them somewhat bigger.

Moving on?

In the previous post, I said that I wouldn’t go into detail about the latest drama fest that is taking place. I intend to keep to that. However, there is an incident I do want to share. Unlike the situation that caused Season’s “eviction,” this happened with me involved.

A spat occurred which involved Season’s landlords. One of them, Rachel, kicked Season out. Yesterday, I helped her move her property out of the place she was living at. We started around six when Season picked me up in a truck that I assume she borrowed from her father. Rachel wasn’t home at the time, which was great because we didn’t have to deal with any tension. So was started on the boxed stuff which we loaded on the truck through the bedroom window. As we were finishing up the last boxes, Rachel and two of her kids arrived. Rachel’s daughter, Abby said that if Season took a certain cat, that she was going to kill her. Imagine that! Some little girl threatening to kill you. If I had said that, my parents would have whooped my butt so hard. We shrugged it off though and left with our first load.

Before going back to Rachel’s we picked up Season’s SUV with the thought that the truck and SUV together would allow us to make less trips. When we got back, we noticed that Carl, Rachel’s nosy father-in-law was sitting there watching us like some sort guard. But we continue like we did before—loading through the window (because it’s easier.) While I was outside loading and Season was inside, Rachel suddenly comes out and says, “That window can be closed. That’s bullshit.” Utterly bizarre. But we figured it was so she and Carl could watch us. Perhaps they thought we were going to steal something. To be blunt, they don’t have much worthier stealing. It’s not as if Season was the type of person to do it anyways. I had no reason to. Anyways, we managed to get everything but a headboard and dresser.

When we came back for the last trip, up comes Carl again to watch us. He evidently had left—only to arrive again when we came back. When we got in to get the last of the stuff, he blocked us. He told us that we couldn’t get the remainder until Season had settled with Rachel. He wanted the keys (Season had already taken them off the key ring for Rachel), payment of some cell bill, and the money from one of Rachel’s daughter’s accounts. Now this is where I get pissed.

First of all, Carl is not the landlord. He has no business with us. If Rachel had a back bone, she should be the one talking. Second, even if he was the landlord, he can not withhold Season’s property from her. And lastly, his demands were unacceptable.

The issue with the keys was already moot. I personally saw Season’s intentions to surrender them.

The cell phone debt was laughable. When he asked for that, he couldn’t come up with the debt amount. Even when Rachel was asked, she shrugged and said that she didn’t know because it was so long ago. No numbers. No bills. No receipts. No memory.
The issue with the bank account was interesting. The account is in the child and Season’s name. Rachel wants the money in it but Season wanted to make sure that the kid will keep that money. I believe that if Rachel was given the money, she would spend it. Season said that she would not cheat that kid of her money.

With the keys handed over, the cell debt unable to be resolved, and Season’s word that she would not steal the kid’s money, we were allowed to collect the remaining items. But it was under some veiled threat that “shit is going to hit the fan” if the money issues weren’t resolved.

The actions of Rachel and Carl were completely out of order. As a bystander to the issues surrounding the move, I was watched like a criminal. But the injury to Season was far worse. I felt like those two were getting some sick satisfaction through humiliation and then by unjust confrontation.

By my own expectations of hospitality, what was done to us was practically unforgivable and it burns me up even though I have almost nothing to do with it other than to help a good friend get out of a bad living arrangement. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that and I am confident that she will move on with the positive steps that continually impress and inspire me.

I have a bad feeling...

I saw Sara today out on the road and honked at her. I ran into Adam’s mom. I found out that Season is moving. I have this bad feeling that this messy situation is getting worse.

Thread Ended

Has the Andrew thread in Desperate Housewives come to an end? Was it me, or did it abruptly end?

When the arc with Andrew started, I thought that the writers were being weak. I mean, what the hell was up with the whole vanilla/chocolate thing? It was a great step to make Andrew gay but it seemed like a back pedal when he confessed to the priest. Thankfully, they seemed to put him back in a less ambiguous position.

Now, I have to wonder where his story will go. The way the episode ended, it looked like something clicked in Andrew’s head when he found out that he no longer could press for emancipation while Bree opened up to be more accepting of his relationship with his boyfriend.

While Bree’s willingness to accept Andrew’s homosexuality is a great evolution of character, it still doesn’t change my opinion that Andrew is still a little bastard. Maybe having his mother finally compromise on something for him is what turned him over, but his past behavior suggests that he’s not a good guy. I’d tell his boyfriend to run.

Let's bring work into this...

The new job so far has been going great. I'm not sick of it yet and the shifts go by somewhat quickly. I thought that I might give you a few thoughts about it.

My first chat up was by a guy. (Am I starting to put off signals here?) He didn't do anything for me but I thought it was pretty cool.

My coworker, Mike, is such a guy. I swear, some of my greatest moments of the day is when he is flirting with the girls that come through. I don't know how he does it, but they do respond to him. I enjoy working with him even though he does kind of annoy me as he constantly tries to express intellectual superiority. Great, you know calculus. You are going to college for free. Good for you.

Some guy asked me if I was married. "Nope. Not legal yet." Hey, don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer.

People will and do buy bags of M&Ms for $27 a pound. We're talking about specialized M&Ms that have a personalized stamp. Screw that. Plain M&Ms are just fine with me.

Would white people please, please, stop wearing black socks with shorts and/or sandals?

I still advocate that people should be sterilized. Then, after passing some sort of aptitude test, they can get the procedure reversed and be allowed to have children.

The guy who works at the jewelery store across the way looks so hot in his suit. If he were visible from my shop, I don't think I could ever get any work done.

Too Much TV!

NBC has the new show called Teachers. I don’t have time to watch it all the time, but I thought it was worth taking a looksie. Fellow Michigander, Justin Bartha stars in it as does Sarah Alexander whom* I enjoyed on Coupling. So far, the show hasn’t been stellar but it’s better than some of the other shows that somehow survived the ax.

Anyone know if Four Kings has been cancelled? I’ve heard that it has been cancelled and I’ve also heard that it has been put on hiatus? Which is it? Todd Grinnell better find some work soon.
The new Doctor Who series hasn’t been going as well as I had hoped. I’m only four episodes into it so I am still willing to give it a few more shots. This Friday, they are bringing back the daleks. Or rather, a dalek. I’ve got my fingers crossed.

Phew, on TAR! I was getting a little worried that the hippies weren’t going to make it. And is it just me, or does it seem like we are over due for a non-elimination round? Of the teams that are left, I really only like the hippies. The frat boys are alright, but I don’t want slackers who are worse than I winning a million dollars.

*Can anyone tell me if I used the correct word? I'm working on the correct usage of who and whom. Damn, I hate the English language sometimes.

Shove that through the door.

With five people, one truck, and two SUV’s, we breezed through with moving Erin’s stuff into her new house. It seemed like we only did thirty minutes worth of work. All that for pizza? It was worth it!

The room colors look great. Erin’s friend, Kevin did have a point—they are sort of like Easter colors. But on the whole, I really like them. I keep kicking myself that I don’t take pictures when I’m over there. Perhaps I’ll remember next time.

Gift Bags Are the Devil

I am awesome when it comes to gift wrapping. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Give me some paper, tape, and a little ribbon and I will go to town on some gift. I probably put more thought into presentation than the actual gift itself sometimes. Erin usually puts gifts in gift bags and so I thought that I would try that route this year with her gift. It was a disaster!

The Michael Bublé album that I bought her uses white and silver as the primary colors in its packaging. I thought it would be simple. Find a white gift bag and some silver tissue paper and I’d be set. Nope. For the life of me, I could not find a simple white bag. The closest that I could find had marital or baby stuff on it. I made a special trip down to the Hallmark store where I was able to get a silver bag with white tissue paper. Now that I had the materials, I couldn’t make it look presentable. The paper would not cooperate. It would bunch up, tear, collapse, everything but look nice. With my last two sheets, I stuffed them in there along with the CD and called it a day.

Never again will I deal with that again. It sounded simple: Place tissue paper in bag; place gift in bag. Believe me, it’s more hassle than it is worth.

Oh, Just Piss On Her

What is it with guys and their need to establish some sort of territory? After spending some time with Erin, I am finding that I am not making some of the people she has dated comfortable. For instance, I learned that an ex of hers didn’t like me. We’ve never even met! Why? Because Erin and I lived together. It’s been almost three years since we lived together and our relationship was totally non-sexual. In fact, sometimes it got aggravating. (Not that she’s a bad person to live with, but you inevitably find some incompatibility when living with a friend.) Apparently, I must be some kind of threat. I find it insanely amusing to think that I’m too close to “his woman.”

Now one guy had me pegged from the start—her friend Kevin. He does not see me as a threat at all. In fact, he has called me “passive.” Hmm, I’m not sure whether to be insulted by that or not. It’s largely the truth so I can’t be angry at him for that. Even though I have only met him once (seen him thrice), when I see the interaction I’ve seen between him and Erin, I think that they would be great for each other. Which would also be great for me because then I won’t be seen as a “threat.” But the situation is too complicated—even for me… so I won’t go there.

Last night though, I was hoping to go out with Season. Kevin (a different Kevin), who we were friends with in high school came up from Florida and we were hoping to get together. Really, I would like to talk to him. I haven’t seen or heard from him since graduation. And the fact that he lives an open life down in Florida is something I’d like to drill him on. But it didn’t work out.

Erin had plans that night but we worked around that so that we would go out for drinks. She had a date with a guy named Alex who was supposed to have arrived from California that night. He hadn’t shown up yet so we went to the bar by ourselves. I was having a great time until Alex showed up. Now, don’t get the wrong impression. Alex was a pretty nice guy. Very sociable. But I felt like the third wheel! Yech. So for the next couple hours we sat and chatted. Yadda, yadda, but at the end of the night he kissed Erin goodbye. It was like a peck. So I avert my eyes. Well—I’m not a perv. I look back up and I see them making out!

Now hold on just one second! It was a first date. Actually, I wouldn’t even call it a “date.” It was going to a bar, having a few drinks, and meet the “best friend.” Did I mention that there is another guy present? ME! Does anyone find that completely forward to do that? Considering how much we were making fun of the drunken guy who was all over these two girls at the bar, I think he was trying to send a message to me. “This night was about me. You were just along for the ride.”

I don’t have this problem with guy friends, quite understandably. But it’s one of my biggest fears when it comes to my gal friends. When they get into relationships, who are they going to drop when it comes down to it? Me, quite frankly. And deep down, I understand why a boyfriend or a husband will always come before me. It should be that way. But what I don’t get, is the situation of why they have to make that decision in the first place.

Saturday anxiousness

I was woke up last night by a call from Season. Kevin is in town and she was wondering if I wanted to go do something with them tonight. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should. I haven't seen him since we graduated high school and if he wants to spend time with Season, who am I to inject myself into the situation? Plus, I am not going to hide who I am. I mean, what's the point? He's gay. I'm gay. Now, that we got that settled we can move on, right?

I don't think Season has told him. So it should be an interesting meeting, if it even happens. Plus, this could be a significant source of info and perhaps wisdom. So, I'll be hoping for a the best.

Besides, a little less drama would be nice right about now.

Home

For a few months, I’ve been waiting for a particular song to come on the radio. This song was slow, moving, and left a memorable feeling. The problem is that it never left a memory! A few weeks back I tried going through the various charts to see if I could find it. No luck until yesterday.

My boss was trying to explain some procedures to me when the song came on over the store radio. I held out my hand as if to say, “hold on a minute,” and started to write down the lyrics as fast I could. She probably thought I was trying to take notes on store procedure. Nope, I was going to google that song when I got home.

It turns out that the song that I’ve been searching for is called “Home” by Michael Bublé. Of course, I downloaded it. Nice. I may have to go pick up the album. (Listen to me. As if I have money to burn!)

Inspiring Work Environment

I’ve been working for the last couple days at a store in the local mall as an assistant manager in training. So far, I’ve been trained like a regular sales associate and it’s been going alright. I’m trying to remember so many codes (we don’t use UPCs) that my head feels like clay. But the work environment is so much better. Alright, I’m going to sound like an ass but it’s true… at my previous job, most of the customers were white trash and they can be vile. Now, I’m near Notre Dame as well as other colleges and in a good upper middle class community so the customer base is a lot better. Plus they’re bursting with cash.

The store that I work in is across the way from a jewelry store which has good looking, drool-worthy associates. Men in uniform or in business suits always catch my attention. And they have a propensity for stopping by! Two of them are very nice and take time to chat with you which I am finding seems to be normal amongst the other workers. It’s very laid back. But, I’ve been on the job for a couple of days so it could all be in my head.