It’s not totally dead.

For the past few weeks I have been having a great time communicating with a great guy over the internet. I can’t even describe what it felt like to have someone reciprocate feelings like that. I could easily see myself being with him but the one catch is that he is 500 miles away. Long distance relationships are hard but they are workable. My own parents had a relationship in which they didn’t see each other for over a year. There is one couple at my work that met online and they’re now married.

For a while, I was content to just take it one conversation at a time and not to keep my hopes up. But the longer that it continued, I knew that I was growing attached and I came to the realization that this was going to end one of two ways. We would make a go of a relationship in which we’d only meet a couple times a year, or one of us was going to find a boyfriend nearby and resulting in crushed feelings for the other. Either option is not acceptable to me.

Then a couple days ago, something must of rattled him because he said that he was feeling all weird and basically asked me where this was going. The question has been running through my mind but I never wanted to bring it up. Why ruin a good thing, right? I suppose, however, that it was good. Basically, I think we are going to cool it and just go to IMing like friends do.

I think he’s a great guy, but he deserves way more than I can offer him.