Sometimes, I don't want to travel on this road.

The other day I was driving along the bypass when I saw an orange mustang stopped on the side of the road. It’s not everyday that you come across an orange mustang. There was one guy that I knew that has one so I opened up my cell phone and texted, “Is that you sitting on the bypass?” I’ll stop for him.

High school wasn’t the greatest time of my life but it wasn’t as horrible as it could have been. Outside of school, I never really hung out with anyone. But I would say that I had friends there at school that I always looked forward to being with. Chris was one of them. He was actually one of the few guys that made me feel like a part of a group and the few times that I actually managed to get out of the house usually involved him.

I got a response. A one word sentence that brought his yearly total up to three. “No.”

I was having a trouble with someone at school. I’m not one to get into fights but I mentioned it to him. Hours later, I had heard that he “fixed” the problem. It blew me away that he would do that for me.

I was surprised that he had texted me back. Honestly. “Just checkin it looked like ur mustang.”

After graduation we didn’t see or talk to each other but every time I came home and we saw each other, we were on great terms. He even gave me some pointers in trying to land a job at his workplace. Still the time apart drove us a little further apart as he had his own circle of friends that he was closer to.

I would look back and forth at my phone constantly, hoping that he’d text more than just one word.

As I came out to more and more friends, I realized that eventually that the word was going to leak out. By this time last year, I had quit the formal coming out announcements. I just let the cards fall where they may. That’s how Staci found out who then told Kraig who then told his mom who then told Kevin and bamn the word was out. Chris is friends with Kraig. Really good friends.

I got nothing. I suppose I was expecting it all along.

Perhaps I’m being paranoid or reading too much into it but as my relationships have changed with people who knew before and after, I have noticed that some are now keeping their distance. And I can say that I’m better off because now I know who will be there for me but still, I miss those who are not. And maybe I’m missing him most of all. I would still stop for him.

I'm not meeting my quota because of you.

Since day one of this job assignment that I'm on, I have been distracted by one of my coworkers who sits one row over in data entry. He's short(er) at probably 5'9. Stocky. He's got short brown hair with sideburns and a beard stubble. His eyes are greyish blue and he's got a lopsided smile. Seriously, I'm going to have to find a desk that faces away from him.

I followed him out of work today and drove alongside him along the road. His lane had construction so I let him squeeze in between me and the car ahead of me. I really wish I could have rear-ended him (shut up perverts) so that I might have an excuse to talk to him. Of course that probably wouldn't be the best way to introduce myself.