Wow. Now that was a show.

After months of waiting, Season and I finally got to see Wicked. It was great. I don’t think Season was impressed as she thought she would be but she said that she still liked it. I had a smile on my face throughout the whole thing (okay, minus some scenes) but bottom line, it was a blast.

I want to put a big spoiler sign on this post and tell you all about the thing but then you might not be tempted to go see it yourself. And if you have any inkling at all, go for it! It’s definitely worth the money. It’s funny and you’ll get to see the Wizard of Oz story with a whole new perspective and twist(er).

One problem: The seats in the Oriental Theatre are killer. If you taller than 6’, I’d recommend asking for an isle seat so you could move your legs around. No need to get an aneurism during a performance.

Going to Chicago to see this musical is remarkably easy. If at all possible, avoid driving into the city. Take a train. Season and I took the South Shore train departing from South Bend. 75cents to park at the airport 18hour lot, $18 for a Round Trip Weekend Excursion ticket. We got off the train only 2 blocks away from the theater and within walking distance of major attractions. Tickets should be bought well in advance of when you plan to go. We had to wait two months for an opening in the lower balcony—it’s that “popular.”

What the hell is with my phone?

At 2:50am this morning, my cell phone went off. I groggily checked on it, ready to yell at whoever it was that was calling me. It's fucking 2:50 in the morning--a Wednesday morning. If someone needed to be picked up from the bar, I would have saved them from a drunk driving accident but would've killed them anyways. So I look at the caller ID: 888-506-8407. An 888 number? It mustn't be anyone I know. It's an 800 number so it had to be some kind of telemarketer. So I silently cursed them to hell and went back to sleep. I would find out who this company was in the morning and write them a nasty e-mail.

I'm now in the office and a few minutes ago, I remembered to check out the phone number. My search revealed it to be from Inmate Calling Solutions and that the call was probably from somplace in Kansas. Alright, what the hell is up with getting two calls from inmates? This one was from Kansas and one, about a week ago, another was from North Carolina. I'm begining to wonder who had my cell phone number before it was assigned to me.

Next time it happens, I'm going to answer.

That Damn GPA

See also 151.

I know that I could have been a better undergrad student. I admit, I fucked it up quite a few times and my resulting GPA will always haunt me. I fear that it may be the biggest factor in a denial from a law school. It wasn't until my second semester as a junior that I seriously got down to studying. My last semester at State I finally pulled my GPA to up a 3.0. I almost cried over that because it seemed like I would never be able to crack 2.9. I was proud that I got a 3.0 for a math class that I failed 3 times over. I could hardly contain myself when I got a 4.0 in Constitutional Law when a year earlier I failed it with a big 0.0. I gave my friends a high-five when my Capstone Course was finished with a healthy 3.0. Considering it was a Madison class heavy in Islamic politics and history, I thought it would be a lot worse. I can make up for my unimpressive GPA. I think that I stand a good chance at getting into some law schools if my LSAT numbers manage to get into the upper 150's and I get some kind of experience by this fall.

I went to Michigan State based on a view book I received when I was in 7th grade. No research went into my consideration of schools. I applied only to three. UofM was my reach school. Western was my safety. Although I don't regret going to State, I don't want to make a leap of faith for law school. I went to the library today to get a little idea on what law schools are out there. So far, I've only given serious consideration to Thomas Cooley Law School and Michigan State University basically because they are the only ones I've had experience with besides Notre Dame ( would be out of my mind to consider applying there). What I found was pretty depressing. Although I feel like I stand a good chance of getting a decent LSAT score, I looked at the GPA info. In one of the places that I looked, it had "lowest GPA accepted."

Indiana University-Bloomington: 3.03
Penn State: 3.05
University of Pittsburg: 3.05
Ohio State: 3.33
Wisconsin: 3.04
Florida State: 3.16
Georgia State: 3.10
Louisiana State 3.15
UNC: 3.01

I was sitting there pulling out my hair over the lack of some GPA's in the 2.0's. I suppose it's fine that MSU and Cooley had 2.91 and 2.66 respectively. But I'm just concentrating on these cut offs. Sure, law schools say that there aren't strict cut offs but when I'm seeing these as the lowest that they accepted... it means that it was the bottom o fthe barrel. And what does that say about where I will be within the class itself? I'll be at the bottom. That is, if I get in.

I never thought that IU or Wisconsin would ever be my reach schools, but there we have it. I'm going to have to work that much harder. As much as I loved getting that 3.0, I'm going to have to say, "Fuck it. Let's do what we can."

A picture from my past.

I was going through some old pictures of mine the other day and came across this one that I’d like to share with you all. Pictured is my best friend, Brandon, Mindy and Jon while we were living in Key West, FL in 1989.

151

I can’t tell if this is a good sign or not but that is my LSAT score. Actually, it’s an unofficial score as I took a timed practice test. It’s the first time I’ve taken the test so it’s probably going to be my lowest or one of my lowest scores that I will make. Good news since I’ve got till June to pull it up! If I can manage to answer 10-12 more questions correctly by the time I take the June LSAT, I should be around 157-158 which should be good enough to get me to MSU. And if I can make it to 20 more, even more doors will be opened!

What's one more desktop?

Because other people are doing it...

Did you hear a howl?

I was going through town on my way to the library yesterday. I was passing by 17th St which is where a lot of the high schoolers are walking on their way back home. I’ve got my MP3 running high through the radio and I’m sitting at a red light jamming to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindy Lauper. (Yes, I am an 80's child.) I hear an “Oh my God!” off to my right and I look over to find four teenage girls pointing and laughing at me. I realize that I have my hands off the steering wheel and in the air doing exaggerated movements in “tune” with the song. All the while, I’m continuing to sing out… just a little too loudly. I stop for a split second wondering how I can save myself further embarrassment. Figuring it was too late, I just resumed what I was doing. Hell, these girls don’t know who I am… might as well give them a free show. So I sang, they laughed. Phew! Good thing that light didn’t stay red for too long! Otherwise, they might have seen me perform the next song --- Dancing Queen by ABBA. Yeaaaah…. Uh….. I’m old. So no more listening to my 70’s/80’s playlist while driving through town. We’ll reserve that for when I’m actually driving down the Freeway of Love with Aretha Franklin.

And yes, I do requests…

I'm carrying a torch

Unless it comes to college football or basketball, I’m not really into sports. Well, at least not enough to keep stats. When the Olympics come on, however, I get excited. If there was an Olympics channel, it would be on in my house 24-7 until the closing ceremonies. But, I present to you one of the big reasons why I am watching this year’s Olympics in Torino – Bode Miller.

Why have I not noticed him before? [drools]


I might have to crash over at Carrie and Justin’s or maybe Erin’s house when men’s skiing is shown. They’ve got the big HDTV screens. Heh heh.

Unexpected calls

A short while ago while I was at work, I got a call from Sara. It was absolutely out of the blue. While I was happy that she called, I was wondering why she did. We haven’t really talked since August. This was an event, so I dropped what I was doing and headed outside for better reception. It was a little awkward because she knew that she had been “neglectful” towards me and I wasn’t about to say, “It’s alright.” She got right down to it. Adam asked her if I was bisexual. She was giving me a heads up that the word was out and that she wasn’t the one who let it slip.

“Well how did he find out?” I asked.

“I don’t know. He heard it from someone. It wasn’t me.”

“Did you confirm it?”

“No. I said, 'he isn’t bisexual.'”

“Sly.”

According to her, he went on to say that I just lacked confidence that he should tell me about women. Okay, I can buy the lack confidence part but he would be the last person to tell me how to pick up women or treat them right.

On one side, I don’t mind that it is getting out. I’m at the point where if anyone asks, I will tell them the truth so it was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not that I'm mad that people are finding out, it's just that I would rather they hear it from me. Still this may have an impact on my relationship with people like Dusty or Chris who may not take kindly to that revelation. And then there's that possiblity that someone's parents are going to find out and then they are going to tell mine. Well, I'll burn that bridge when I come to it...

I told her that I would call her in a few hours. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this new situation. I’m not going to try and contain a rumor that’s true. Still, I would like to know just how the word got out and how fast it’s spreading.

It's an odd feeling... being happy and terrified all at the same time.

* * *

About an hour after her call I got a call from a 919 number. I thought it might be someone's new cell number. I answered it and it turns out it was a collect call from some guy at the Wake County Jail. I hung up. I don't know where Wake County is and I'm not about to bail out someone I didn't know. Using the reverse phone directory, I found out that the call originated from Raleigh, North Carolina. How odd. And how could I accept a collect call on a pre-paid cell phone?

There. Now I've seen it.

I was wrong. Brokeback Mountain found its way to the Michiana area. Showplace 16, the cineplex on the south side of South Bend is showing it on one screen. Season and I went to its premier last night. It wasn't completely packed, but I haven't been in that big of a theater crowd since Mountain Home AFB showed The NeverEnding Story 2 at the base theater. I was pleasantly surprised to see quite a few heterosexual couples there. I must admit, my expectation for this was much more pessimistic. While we were there two couples that appeared to be school aged were discussing about how a person "turns" gay. Even though I smirked at some of the theories that they were throwing out, at least they are thinking about it in an open way.

There have been enough reviews about his movie and one done by me wouldn't be helpful. But real quickly, the movie is over-hyped. I came in expecting a lot more than I got. Don't get me wrong... it was a very good movie. I liked it. I just had higher expectations. Although, I didn't get emotional as some other bloggers out there, I did feel for the characters. If I had experienced love on that level, I probably would have busted up in the theater. That shirt scene, however,... I've been there. My "shirt" is lying on top of my dresser where I touch it almost every day.

It's amazing--the violence we do to ourselves and each other.

Crumbs (the TV show)

I think it’s pretty fortunate that last night’s CSI was a repeat otherwise I wouldn’t have caught the premier of Crumbs. I don’t really get excited about new shows. They have a tendency to get cancelled so I usually come in after a show has been on for a couple years. Examples: Friends, CSI, and Everybody Loves Raymond. The local paper had a little blurb about Crumbs and I was intrigued for the one obvious reason: the main character is gay. He’s not just gay, though, he hides it from his family. For that reason (and maybe because I liked 3rd Rock from the Sun), I decided to give it a try.

First impression: it’s not that funny. I don’t find that terribly alarming. Some shows do grow into their own. Given that this is a mid-season starter, the show really needs to hit an audience fast otherwise it will receive the ax. Hey, I’ve seen it done after only four episodes (The American Embassy). Second: that brother is hot. Overall: the premier’s value was only to set up the series and it did so without having an interesting story line. They could have saved time by just saying this is so and so and this is why they are here. I honestly have a pessimistic feeling about the show despite my wishes that it do well. I personally don’t think that I will be giving up CSI but you know, I may flip back to it during the commercials.

John

I don’t why I am doing this but after seeing another blogger write something deeply personal, I felt compelled to write about something close to my own heart.

Back in 2003, I was the lone American at the University of the Philippines, Los Banos. In the previous years, MSU and the University of Wisconsin sent students so there was always at least two Americans there. That year, I was the only one sent. At first I thought I would be fine, but eventually I got homesick.

After a few weeks, I saw a blonde guy sitting in the dorm commons reading a newspaper. I assumed it was another foreign researcher for the International Rice Research Institute or perhaps it was one of those elusive French men that I had heard about. It was a good week until I saw him again. Then one night, my friend Lee, who is from Korea, joined me in the dorm lounge to watch some TV. The guy who I had seen earlier sopped by to say hello. Apparently he and Lee met the night before. After hearing his accent, I knew he was an American and I asked him where he was from (Iowa.) At first, John looked like he was shocked that this pudgy Filipino had such a good Mid-Western accent. I learned that he was a student from Wabash College in Indiana and that he was going to be around for two months for an internship with IRRI.

Is internship required him to do field work elsewhere in the country but I looked forward to him coming back because he was pretty much my connection back to the States. We hung out, went to the bars, traveled around, and whatnot. I began to develop feelings for him-the depth of which I didn’t know until he left.

It may not have appeared so on the surface, but we were so alike it was weird. Sitting side by side we were two guys raised in conservative, Lutheran homes, both interested in religion and politics, both virgins, neither with girlfriends of any significance, with a tendency to get involved in topics of sex and sexuality. I began to wonder about his sexuality. Warning bells? His admission to the sized of his equipment—which could not have been exaggerated, his asking of my measurements, his description of homoerotic stunts he pulled as he was pledging and during his time as a brother, and his interest in homosexuality in the U.S., Japan, and in the Philippines.

One of my fondest memories occurred when there was a brown-out in the night. John and I had a long conversation in complete darkness. I could not see him, it was that dark. We just talked and listened. I didn’t want the power to come back on.

Towards the end of his internship, he and Lee decided to go to Batangas and hit the beach. I became insanely jealous. Really. I couldn’t control it. I remember sitting in my room asking myself why I cared so much. Fortunately (for me) a typhoon (hurricane for those by the Atlantic) was bearing down which caused them to cancel their plans. I was overjoyed yet felt guilty about it at the same time.

On the night before he was set to leave, we made plans to go to the bar but before we left to do that, I gave him something special. Let me explain: When I was young, my father was in the Air Force, so we moved often. One of the things that I did was to give something that was important to me to one of my friends. I would never see them again so I wanted them to have something that was cherished by me. I have given away my geo-crystal, my blue-lion Voltron toy, and a mini toy wagon. I didn’t bring much to the Philippines with me except for two detachment coins which I obtained when I was in Air Force ROTC. It probably looked a little ridiculous but I gave him my “Fighting Terrorism” coin. That coin was the last thing that I got from AFROTC when all that 9-11 stuff was happening. I hoped that he would keep it safe and remember me.

The next morning I watched him leave. I watched him until he walked out of sight. When it was over, I went to my room and cried. Hard. I have NEVER done this for anyone—EVER. I cried because he was gone. I cried because I liked him. I cried because I had feelings for a guy. But I didn’t care. For those few moments, I quit the denial. I quit the denial.

The last I heard from him, he was in NYC, I think working for a conservative paper. I think about him often. Note that I never said that John is gay but there was enough for me to work with to think that he was and that maybe things could have been… different.

Concluding thoughts:
This post does not intend to say that John is, in fact gay, but only that it is my wishful thinking.

If, by some really intensive ego-surfing, John has come to this blog and reads this—Surprise! I hope that I haven’t made you too uncomfortable. I thought that there was enough ambiguity that no one would be able to positively identify you. I guess I was wrong if you managed to get here. If you wish, I will take this down if you so request it.

I was going to put up a picture of him, but I felt that it would have been wrong and that people might make wishful assumptions like I have.

Those two months that I spent with John and Lee were the best out the whole experience.

Do you really know why your kid is watching that?

I must live in a more religious area than I realized. I trust most of you have heard about that one theater in Utah that cancelled it’s showing of Brokeback Mountain or how a couple NBC stations are refusing to show The Book of Daniel. Well I’m there and I’ve been there. Brokeback Mountain will not be coming to the Michiana region. I had hoped that South Bend would have been big enough for it to make it there, but it hasn’t. The nearest theater that I could find is in Chicago. Try telling your parents that you are going to Chicago just to see a movie that you can’t see here. I’m sure that won’t raise suspicion. In regards to The Book of Daniel, something similar happened a few years ago when NBC tried to come out with the show called Coupling which was an American copy of the British show with the same name. The NBC station servicing this area, WNDU, refused to air it on the grounds that it was too sexually provocative. I’ve seen the British version on BBC America. It’s not that bad. It’s just way too short. While WNDU will be showing The Book of Daniel, it kind of peeves me that the social conservatives here work so hard to ban shows that they haven’t even seen.

Since I mentioned the BBC, quite oddly, I picked up two more shows that I’m seriously considering watching on a regular basis. Apologies to Kate, but usually I can only stand to watch their DIY shows like Changing Rooms or Cash in the Attic and the BBC News. But yesterday I had nothing to do but lounge around the house. Out of the 100 or so channels, there was nothing on except Alien 3. So I flipped to the BBC and found The Robinsons. It had Martin Freeman on it. I remembered him from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and so I gave it a chance. It turned out to be a marathon that I filled up my afternoon. Then later on in the night came Mile High which is total crap but I laugh at it because it’s soooo crappy not to mention that one guy (Will) is kind of attractive. Too bad he’s straight in real life.

I am really uncomfortable watching show with gay people in it because I hate it when my parents occasionally point it out. I fear what they say because I put their words on me. The only exception to this is Ross the Intern on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They find him funny. Almost as if that’s the only redeeming quality. A couple days ago, my Dad actually raised his voice at me when we almost got into an argument over the The Book of Daniel and its premier. He brought up the fact that the son was a homosexual and the daughter was involved in drugs and that it was “wrong” to show on television. Then last night while watching Desperate Housewives, the Bree caught her son with his boyfriend in bed. My Mom says, “That’s so sick.” It made me feel so small.

If this post sounds like I watch TV too much, I really don’t. Aside from 3 hours on Friday, and one hour for Desperate Housewives on Sunday, I don’t watch anything else regularly—just whatever happens to be on when I’m free.

It's time for a little DIY.

When I got home from college, I found that my room had been turned into a dumping ground by my family. Junk everywhere. I managed to shovel a lot of it downstairs, but only enough to clear my bed, desk and drawers. With work and the internship, I haven’t had the time to clean it out properly. Now that I am out of work, I’ve had the two full necessary to do it.

Since I was on the fix up kick, I decided to do something about my lamp. After a couple of apartment/dorm/house moves, the treads in the pole have worn down. As a result the sections don’t properly join together. I had thought I solved the problem by taping it up. Well, tape doesn’t hold together forever and the tilt kept getting worse and worse until I couldn’t touch the thing without risking a fall-over.

Usually, my Dad does all the house repairs around here. He tried to enlist me to help in some of his projects, but we found that he works better alone. I decided, I do this baby myself and look what a wonderful job I did! Nothing looks more thrown together than that. Lol. It’s actually holding up really well. And here I was… considering buying a new one on credit. Tsk tsk tsk.

Oh and about DIY. A number of years ago when I was working at K-mart, we had a section called DIY. I used to be the department associate working that, automotive, and house wares. One day I was approached by this middle aged lady who was asking where she could find a particular item.

“It’s over there (pointing) in DIY,” I said.

“D-I-Y?”

“Yeah. Do It Yourself.” Wrong thing to say. At this point, I realized that instead of calling it DIY, K-mart should just call it “hardware” because I thought I was going to be bitch-slapped.

Are we losing our foothold?

There was a short snippet in the South Bend Tribune today on how there is a petition in Massachusetts to change the state constitution in order to recognize only heterosexual marriages. Truthfully, gay marriage isn’t an important issue for me. I support it but mainly for people like Moose who may want to get married in the future. I tend not to associate the issue with me mainly because that is so far down the line. I have yet to take a complete step out of the closet. Settling down with the right guy is a little beyond my horizon at this moment.

Gay marriage is a problem for me because I am torn into two different directions over what I think is right. First there is gay marriage itself which I support. I’m gay and I may want to marry some day. For me, it’s an institution that you don’t enter into lightly and is something that you strive to make work. It’s more meaningful than just declaring a “partnership.” Second, there is my need for gay marriage to be accepted by society in a legitimate way. That’s either through a vote in the various legislatures or with the people themselves. Having gay marriage come from the mouth of a few judges is not enough for me because one judge can say this, and another can say that. It’s just not concrete. So on one hand, I have this “thing” that I want yet I can’t have it unless I compromise on my belief that only a legislative body or the people can give it to me.

Michigan’s own Proposal 2 was passed nearly 2 to 1. How can you convince such a daunting number of fellow citizens that you should be allowed a simple right? My best hopes lie with liberal legislatures like Massachusetts to pass laws that favor gay marriage. Good luck finding a body that would, however. Eventually, the public will progress to the point where gays can be allowed to marry but how long will that take? Are we willing to be patient? Should we be patient?

Should Massachusetts have a vote on this manner, I’m not sure it will turn out well given recent history. There is one ray of hope and that lies with a poll saying that 55% would not approve of the amendment. I think we are the generation that will see another tipping of the scales of civil rights. What historic times we live in.

Hooray for the Big Ten!

…well, except for UofM.

First off, congrats go out to Wisconsin for their win over Auburn 24-10.

Ohio State ran all over Notre Dame in last night’s Fiesta Bowl. I loved it. Friends and family were telling me that this was going to be a close game. They also told me that Notre Dame was going to win. Oh well… hope that pie doesn’t taste too bad! The result was OSU trashing ND 34-20. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a blow out, but you couldn’t say that it was a close game either.

OSU’s offense was unbelievable. It seemed like all I saw was them marching and passing right over ND. It was getting so bad that I thought I should cross over and wish some good luck for the Irish. I wanted a little more of a fight! Still, I had a great time watching my two favorite teams go at it. It’s still very satisfying to see Notre Dame improving. They may not be the powerhouse they used to be but it’s still one to look up to.

Incidentally, it’s too bad that you never see OSU’s marching band perform. They are awesome. I looked forward to when the Buckeyes would come to Spartan Stadium so I could watch them.

Great Expectations

STOP! Do not read this post if you hate listening to people bitch and whine. This was written mainly to vent. Please stand by for something more cheerful.

I had such great expectations for my first New Year’s bash. I would have this great time with Season and Erin at Truman’s and Rum Runners. I envisioned tossing back some drinks with them. The bar would be so crowded that we couldn’t help but talk to people. Truman’s would be this place would just click with me. Things never go the way they should though.

Rum Runner’s cover ended up being $20 and tickets/reservations were needed. Truman’s ended up to be $15 but no reservations needed. Erin decided that she wanted to go to Rum Runner’s with her friends where they would stay all night. Going to Truman’s was important to me. Season wanted to go there as well so that’s where we went—just the two of us. When we walked in, there were only five other people in the place. Granted it was 8pm but I was still expecting more people. Until 11:30, it wasn’t even crowded. Even at the stroke of midnight, there was plenty of room. I guess the gay bar isn’t the place to go for New Year’s.

Although it’s the lamest excuse, I was so clamed up that I couldn’t talk to anyone. I stole a few cigarettes from Season (and I don't even smoke.) I even tried downing some drinks. Nothing helped. By then end of it, I just wanted to get out of there. This wasn’t my place. I wasn’t feeling like myself. What the hell is wrong with me?

I may have felt like a fish out of water, but there were a few things that I think about. I’ll keep them to myself for right now because I don’t know how to properly express it. I just know that it was something good. I’m trying to find the positive in this situation and I suppose it’s this. For a few hours, I didn’t feel alone even though, aside from Season, I was.


I am so photogenic. I got to show some ridiculousness.