How do we get our wings?

I watched Angels in America today and I was disturbed at the end in how things ended for one of the characters—namely Joe Pitt. His character is that of a closeted gay Republican working as a law clerk. A run in with one of the other movie/play’s characters opens the closet door. The guy is no saint. His sins being marrying someone he did not love completely, cheating on her, and then still trying to salvage a relationship and base it on a lie. Still, I was hoping that all this was the dramatic struggle which would lead to peace.

At the end of the movie, we see all the characters get a satisfying ending except for Joe Pitt. At the end, he was trying to go back to his wife even though they both knew that their marriage would be a self-delusion. And his very last scene (at least in the movie) is to descend underground with the impression that he will go on as a closeted gay man who has to seek out men in the dark.

I had to wonder if the playwright and the gay left ever view a gay republican and see anything more than a loathsome creature. It is certainly a vibe that I’ve come across now and then.

There was a story not too long ago about a staffer for a Republican that was outed. He was working and associated himself with people who were anti-gay. And while he can fairly be attacked for positions that he supported, I wondered if the gay community was burning a bridge when they tore him to shreds with some advocating his death. Should there ever be a time that this staffer actively support gays and their interests, would it be welcomed?

Who is to say that man that is conservative, Republican, and religious is not worthy of entrance into the gay community? Being those three things doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is a threat to gays.

Television is so engrossing sometimes.

I really hate it when I get involved in the "love life" of television characters!



h/t to wundermikey at YouTube for posting this vid.

The lesbians are lucky to have her.

I missed last month's LGBTQXYZ book club meeting. After realizing that I would never make it there on time to hear the reviews of a book I selected, I spend the night kicking myself.

Last night, when I went in for our meeting, I got a little lost. See, our meeting takes place in the same area and when I went in, there were was a young college age girl there. I assumed that some other group must have reserved our spot. Sure enough, she was in the gay spot.

Let me tell you... she was a knock out. If I was straight, I probably wouldn't have had the balls to strike up a conversation with her. Lucky for me, I'm not so I wasn't hindered. Still, I could not stop looking at her she was that beautiful. And a thought occurred to me that made me chuckle.

"What a waste."

Where did that come from? Did I turn to the hetro side just long enough to lament that I would never have the chance to sleep with her? Seriously--weird thought. And, no it really isn't a wast that she's a lesbo. I'm sure she'll make some manish gal very happy. :-P

Fun With the Gals

I had a blast at Erin's bachelorette party last night.

Won't tell you too much but pictures are worth a thousand words, right?

He'll be there.

<<--See also: “Why were we talking about that,” and “A subset wedding story.”

My friend Erin is getting married in about a month. While we were out having lunch we were talking about some deep issues. I’m not going to air it out here but there was one small thing she mentioned that I will share.

There is a wedding invite sitting by my bed. I haven’t responded yet but it’s for me and a “guest.” I suppose I have been hoping that I could find a date to take with me to the wedding. As long as I have that RSVP card, there will always be the possibility that it could happen. I know that I will be going alone and although I could always invite one of my gal friends, I don’t want to use them in that way anymore.

If there is one thing that I wish for myself, that day, it is that I will be able dance with another man. It didn’t have to a serious affair but it did have to have some meaning. I thought that it would be a far flung fantasy—I was going to be alone. Maybe… there’s reason to hope.

Karl is going to be there.

Is she trying to say something?

My Aunt J sent me a birthday card which arrived today.

What kind of bees make milk? Boobies.

That joke was from one of the few gay movies that I've watched. So I thought it was ironic (is that the word) that this card came from my conservative homophobic aunt.

I think that I've mentioned before that my extended family probably have their suspicions about me. Without going into the reasons, my aunt and grandma are asking about my love life and whether I've been seeing any girls. I think that Aunt J has her suspicions because the gay subject tends to keep coming up. I also think that my Uncle A knows about me and is okay with it.

Paranoia? Perhaps. But I wonder.

More Soap

While I was finishing up the Luke and Noah (or the last of what was available on YouTube), I spotted another gay story line on the British show Coronation Street with the characters of Todd and Karl. I’m not gonna get into that but I was thinking about the viewers’ comments on both Luke/Noah and Todd/Karl.

Seeing a gay couple on television is a cool thing for me. Let’s put aside some of their questionable judgments that is required of television drama for a second, however. But there are a lot of commentators who hate what is going on with their respective shows. This was more evident with commentators for As the World Turns. The haters there make my homophobic conservative Aunt look like bleeding heart liberal. I had trouble wrapping my head around some of what was being said and I couldn’t understand why I was reading it.

If a person is against homosexuality, why would they watch in on YouTube, take the time to comment on it, and then come back to try and defend their positions? I’m seeing various posters coming back page after page and it’s striking that they would care that much. Even my church doesn’t go out of its way to express its view—which is against, by the way. In fact, I have never even heard homosexuality brought up in any service.

Obviously letters written to CBS show that a number of viewers of As the World Turns don’t like the homo story line. And I suppose that’s to be expected but YouTube and other sites? That’s a whole different ball of wax--you’ve got to be looking for that stuff. These people have either got be angry closet cases or your run of the mill troll. I want to believe that the people who really disapprove of these gay stories just tune out and let others have their moment in the light.

Luke and Noah? Where have I been?

During the last week or so I have been waking up to a certain song playing on the local radio station. I enjoyed it so I did a google search on it to find out what the song's name was and then a YouTube search so that I could listen to it. I found a vid clip that used the song and this is it:

I've watched soaps with my grandma when I lived with her on the farm so I know how those story lines can draw you in. I really wanted to know more about those two guys and so I dug further until I found out that they were Luke and Noah from the "As the World Turns." Apparently they have the distinction of being the first gay couple on day time TV. There was a series of clips on YouTube that I found that detailed their relationship. I watched almost all of it.

Dang soap opera hooked me in again!

Coincidentally I ran into more of Luke and Noah via another blogger. You can read his post here. Also, there was a news story on MSN. Three things about the same couple coming at me at almost the same time.

According to the article, there's a protest of the two characters. No, the protest is not about having a gay couple. It's about the lack of lip-locking. Which I agree with you. In all the clips that I had seen of those two, there was only two times they kissed. I'm not asking for a sex scene or anything but let's get real here. It's a soap opera, there's a lot worse they can show than two gay characters kissing every now and then. Sheesh.

New Year, New Member

I did make it to that Gay and Lesbian book club last night. I started to float around there about twenty minutes ahead hoping to spot the group first rather than go up to people and ask if they were the gays and lesbians I wanted to meet.

It wasn't what I expected. I had envisioned two possibilities: smart college kids or smart old people. Over the past few weeks, I had put so much attention onto that book just in case the conversation was going to be highly intellectual. It turned out to be more relaxed than I feared.

There were three regulars. If I remember right, they were Dave, Tom, and Earl. Then there appeared to be two known-to-the-group participants and bringing up the rear were three new comers including me. The three regulars were older gentlemen and the rest of us were rather young.

The discussion I thought was quite short but apparently it was a good one according to Tom. This is because more then a couple people actually read the book. I think that Tom and I took over the discussion and to be honest, I think I stepped on his toes because I would always take a an observation of his and give my own twist. I don't know if he liked that or not but it was kinda fun to have something to add.

The book that we will be discussing looks like "fluff" as they call it. I'm not particularly looking forward to reading it but I'll suffer through it. Earl let me borrow two books so I'll be giving those a crack as well. They took my suggestion of "The Year of Ice" so we'll be reading that for either March or April. Also assigned: gay gossip. *sigh* Still looking forward to it.

Gay Tragedy

Why are gay stories always so damn tragic?! Since early fall, I have been checking out Barnes & Noble. The a Gay and Lesbian Book Group that meets once a month. Since I’m not too keen about the bars, I thought that this might be a great way to meet some of the locals. Every time I went in there, the book selected for the month did not interest me. Or worse, I was mildly repelled by it. Sorry, but I’m not really interested in a book that chronicles hook ups during the Christmas holiday.

For January, though it appeared that a decent book had been selected. It deals with bullying. Ah, an excellent topic to exercise my limited grey matter over. The book selected was A Push and a Shove by Christopher Kelly. The back reads as follows:

Tortured by memories of being bullied all through school, Ben Reilly sets out to finally put his demons to rest. Terrence O'Connor, the beautiful boy who tormented him, is now a successful writer in Manhattan, but he is also a man searching out his own identity. As Ben and Terrence form an unlikely friendship, hidden motives and long-kept secrets bubble to the surface. Darkly disturbing, brilliantly written, A Push and a Shove is a chilling depiction of the once-victim who unwittingly becomes the bully.

Sounds pretty interesting, right? Well…right. I thought it was pretty good. I completed it in about 8 hours and I plan to go over it again before the meeting on the 23rd. But I’m not writing about the story. What I am asking is why are all the gay stories that I’ve come across so dark? Okay, granted, I’ve only read three gay novels: Brian Malloy’s The Year of Ice and Brendan Wolf and now this one. But each and every one of them left me a bit unsatisfied because I’m such a romantic nut that I want the happily ever after! But I recognize that reality is not so rosy. Still, can I get a little happiness without having to go to the online, porno, amature writer section?

Has anyone participated in a Book Club meeting before? I’d like to know what I should expect or how deep the analysis is going to be. Because if they start throwing around literary theory or bringing up other books and authors that I’ve never even heard about, I may have to slink out the door never to return again.

Well, I will return, just not when that club is meeting.