Valentine’s Day Revisited

Alright, I know that I am a couple days late for this but I just read an email and it prompted me to make this post. But I’ll get to that in a few. First thing I want to get off my chest is “VD.” Throughout my blog-hopping, I’ve been seeing the same thing over and over again—Happy VD! VD?! Maybe it’s just me but I really hate having to constantly remind myself that VD is a good thing. Because, oh, I don’t know, ever since sex ed., I’ve thought of VD as something you wanted to avoid. Use a condom. Ask for your partner’s history. Get tested. Blah, blah. So when someone said, “I hate VD,” I just nodded in agreement. After all, I hate venereal diseases too.

I’ve never had a girlfriend during Valentine’s and you could probably imagine that I’m a little bitter about the holiday. I’m not. I like Valentine’s Day. Okay, so I concede, maybe I hate it a little… but only because I don’t have anyone to share it with. But in general I like it because it gives me an excuse to do something nice. (Yes, it’s very uncharacteristic of me. Lol. Shut-up, B.) But if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to write about my own secret misery that accompanies this day.

I am aware of the real possibility that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Not alone as in I will be completely cut off socially, but alone in the way that I will not have that significant other. Even among the straights, there are people who will never find the right person. Because of who I am, the odds are…well, extreme. It’s not just being gay. But it’s being somewhat shy, a little geeky as well as dorky, and having a very traditional view of relationships. Take for instance, the idea of an open relationship. It’s something that I’ve seen other bloggers write about. You know, if it works for them, that’s all fine and good. Whatever, but it’s just not for me. Even the idea of dating, having sex, moving in, breaking up, and moving on within the time span of months is enough to make me uncomfortable. Believe me, I’m not trying to say that this is common behavior, but it’s just adding to my own worries, that there really isn’t a person for me out there. It’s not that I am expecting the perfect guy to come along, but it does appear that I am setting myself for a permanent table for one. I still have a ways to go before worrying about that though.

Anyways, the reason which prompted this post was that I sent out Valentine’s cards to some of my friends. Four of them: Erin, Season, Sara, and Renee. Remember in elementary where we passed out those cheap Valentine’s Day cards to everyone in class? I secretly liked it. I think we stopped in fifth grade and I haven’t done it since. But since my friends are single, (Well, Sara is arguable not, but that’s a whole different ball of wax.) I thought that I would send them one of those little cards just like we did in elementary along with a little note. Hopefully it would at least put a smile on their face. Well, I got something from one of them.

Just a little while ago, I checked my email. In the inbox was a message from Sara addressed to her friends. It was titled “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I opened it only to discover an adamant, “I hate Valentine’s Day.” It probably wasn’t in response to my own card, but I was heartily offended. I know, being single on this day sucks. Out of all five of us, however, she was the one who had least cause to complain. She’s got her boy toy. What the hell is she bitching about? I could go into a big tirade over it, but she kind of sapped the little joy I had in holiday.

No, I don’t hate the day. I don’t mope about wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend to share it with. I look it as a day where I can do a little something for the girl friends that I do have. ‘Cause us singles need to be reminded that having a partner isn’t something we need to kill ourselves over. The mere fact that you have friends is enough to appreciate, and you should show some love for them too.