Peering Out

I’m just a guy who is beginning the process of coming out fully to the world. These are my posts:

Saturday, February 11, 2006

needless, but...

I wouldn’t say that I’m a Will & Grace fan. The only two characters that I look forward to seeing is Jack and Karen. It’s funny, but there are only so many gay jokes I can take before I loose interest. Another thing, I suppose, is that I don’t identify with any of the characters unlike Crumbs—but the show sucks. But, I have been watching it for the past few weeks; enough to see the character of Taye Diggs become the love interest of Will. But the reason why this particular post came up was because Season was saying something about it at work today. She thinks he’s hot. I think not.

Aside from the smile, I think he looks a little distorted and…. Hmmm… modelish? Sure models, are hot and everything but honestly I don’t think I would really go for that kind of guy. No, I would definitely have gone for the cop. He looks so much more human as well as acting. His little awkwardness was endearing. This new guy seems too perfect. Too hot. And that just turns me off from him. Is it because of my own insecurities, my feelings of inadequacy? That certainly has something to do with it. I certainly don’t want to feel the need to compete. I want something that complements.

When I look at all the guys that I have had significant crushes over, they have all had something that I lacked. Heterosexuality seemed to be the dominant trait… but I digress. Honestly there have only been a few guys that I pined for and they couldn’t be more different from each other if they tried. So, I’m completely lost as to what kind of guy I should be looking out for. But to nip this post in the bud, I’m not going to worry about it right now. As I have said before, although I want a relationship, I am not ready for one. I can not offer someone what they deserve. The big part of that is truth. I’m trying to make the right decisions and doing it carefully because I am not out to hurt anyone. For at least a while, I am a mess that needs a little sorting out. Luckily I have a couple good friends that are guiding me on my way. For that, I am eternally thankful.

This post resembles nothing like it was intended for.

And… how did Grace get pregnant?

3 Comments:

At 8:58 PM, February 13, 2006, Blogger Luke said...

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At 9:01 PM, February 13, 2006, Blogger Luke said...

Oh, sheesh. You spoiled it for me. heh. I love W&G. I have 3 friends and we all fit into the roles perfectly.

My friend C is just like Karen.. to the point where she was drinking all the time, spitting out insults and witty humor and clinging to me for life. Her and "Grace" don't always get along and her and "Wil" never get along.

Now my friend J is just like Wil. He's smart, confident, charming and has a clear direction in life. He entertains my thoughts... my goals.. my emotions.. and he never judges me. He's annoyed at "Karen" most of the time and tolerates her as part of the group.

Onto the Grace-look-alike L. She is so perky.. has a great sense of fashion.. is full of humor and is a link between several of us. She's sensible.. hardworking and independent. Oh, and she loves food but is so skinny.

I of course took the role of Jack, since this is my story and I ran out of characters.. but I'm usually known for my randomness and flightiness, but in most ways, we're not alike. But I love all of them, as Jack does, I think.

We act the parts, play the roles and laugh it up all the while. It's so sad though, since we all moved apart.

 
At 5:29 AM, February 14, 2006, Blogger David said...

Oooh, sorry, I guess I should have posted "spoilers" on this too.

That's cool that you have friends like that. I wish I could say the same, although I think I would like a Phoebe. (Look at me, it sounds like I can just pick one up at the supermarket.) But I will say that I do kid around with my friend, Erin saying that I'm her Will. It will be even more true if I end up living with her... again. Yup ,just a gay guy and a straight girl who can't manage a relationship outside their own, who live together, and are practically joined at the hip. --She's going to kill me if she ever reads this.

 

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