Vanity?

Ugh… I guess it’s time I updated. Nothing interesting going on in my life but someone who has nothing interesting in theirs seems to have made some waves in the gay blogosphere. Austin Vane. Who is Austin Vane? Dunno. Who really does? Anyways, I was going through my usual blogs (most of which are listed off to the right) and was at ChadFox’s site when I saw an entry regarding this Austin Vane guy.

From what I could tell, AV was made up by some regular Joe and two associates out there. He had made his own blog, but could never attract a following despite leaving comments out there that could be tracked back to his own site. He just wanted to meet some other guys out there. The alternate persona which was hotter, hipper, yet false, drew more of a crowd and he called them on it.

Austin was made up you fucktards!! Quit basing your friendship circles and/or blogs on good-looking people only. It shows your insecurity and shallowness. Every single one of you who visited this site regularly deserves to be shit on. You're a disgrace to the gay world. We hope you enjoy your meaningless, single, pathetic lives that are based solely on lusting after hot men, random sex, drugs, poppers and whatever else you think is "cool" and worthy to blog about. It's guys like you who give the gay world a bad image and name to the rest of society. Wake up and become civilized.

I could see where he was coming from despite a little shock. When I started blogging, I left comments on other people’s sites in the hopes that they would check mine out and come back every now and then. Rarely did it happen. I kind of got all depressed about it. I mean, I must be boring, right? So I pretty much stopped posting comments. Why? One, usually when I want to post a comment, someone else has already beaten me to the punch. Two, I would prefer to add something of substance to the post but occasionally, I do heap a little drivel.

I did feel a little sympathy for him. I guess it was because I could relate. I’m not a supermodel either. I don’t have some fabulous life to write about or the creative flair to embellish what I do have. And it was a little frustrating that I couldn’t attract some of the big guys out there to come visit my site. But I realized that it wasn’t the reason why I blogged. This particular blog is not my main blog. It’s my sanctuary to discuss things that I can’t on my other one for fear of being found out by my parents. And although getting in contact with some great people is a huge bonus, it’s more important that I can spill my guts out somewhere rather than leaving it all in.

Like the other bloggers out there, though, I was a bit miffed because I’m trying to get beyond my own prejudices but he seems to be propping them right back up. There was also the fakeness of his life. I originally planned to create a fake name for this blog, but not a fake persona and I believe that I clearly said why. But as I had said earlier, I want to be moving forward and creating something that I am not, even a fake name, is not step in the right direction.

Vane and I may have something in common. But I don’t want to be here attracting a following because I’m hot or because I’m doing something exciting (although a little excitement to go with my award winning dimples would be welcomed). This is what I have to offer the world for right now. If it’s not enough for the reader, that’s fine. There are many other fine blogs to get lost in (like those off to the side… ahem). So I don’t have as many people visiting or commenting but I’ll say this: I appreciate--deeply—those who come here occasionally or regularly. I will take honesty over blind attention any day.