I wouldn't say Pride...

I felt very sad reading on the various blogs about the authors’ experiences with Pride this year. I felt like I had missed out on something. It’s really not as deep as that might sound but it was an event that I really wanted to experience. Unfortunately financial concerns kept me from making a trip out to Chicago like I had planned on earlier this year. While I may have missed out on it, I have been thinking over whether I would have been in appropriate state of mind to appreciate it.

I’ve come to a brick wall in my development which is why I haven’t been posting much on this blog anymore. Basically, everyone that I want to come out to already knows that I’m gay. It’s just my family that is that final hurdle and I’m currently up against it.

I think that I’m a pretty well adjusted person. I’ve come to embrace my sexuality in the sense that it gives me a whole new exciting outlook on life. I’ll admit I don’t know a lot but it’s something that I want to explore and see where it takes me. But does that make me a person that Pride is meant for?

I’ve got this idea that Pride is for people who are out there. The fearless sort who aren’t ashamed of who they are and don’t let other people’s opinion of them keep them from living out their life. So I don’t belong to that. I’d think that I’d be a hypocrite to show up at a Pride event while I still hide a large part of who I am from my family.

What I probably want most of all is to meet other gay people. Pride would have been a great opportunity to do that but that’s not the only way to do it. I could always go to Truman’s. It’s an uncomfortable as it requires me to get over a number of my issues such as going to a bar, meeting new people, and doing it all alone. I could use the internet and its social sites such as MySpace but that’s completely weird to me as well. “Hi. I saw your profile on MySpace. I think you’re cool. Wanna hang out?”

How do break into a community? I don’t like the answers that I’ve come up with so far.