All Quiet on the Homo Front

There really hasn't been too much to blog about lately. Some things got a little mention on the main blog but I didn't think they needed a post here. At least, I didn't want to talk about it in much detail.

I recently posted on Tangled Thoughts that I will be going with my friend, Sara, on a Speed Date. I got a comment from Moncrief that made me think a bit. He wrote, "Why not concentrate on finding a boyfriend?"

The short answer to that question is because I'm not ready. I made a decision that I would not date or otherwise get into a physical or emotional relationship until after I come out to my parents. I don't need my parents approval. I just don't want to have to drag my boyfriend into the closet with me. I don't think that is fair to him.

I admit there is also a more emotional components. Fear. Fear that I'm not desirable. Fear that I'm largely ignorant. Fear of rejection.

I really do want a boyfriend. Sometimes so badly that it makes me tear up. If the right circumstances came along, I'd throw caution to the wind. But so far, that hasn't happened.

What I really want and need is a friend who can show me the way. I want to know that when I finally make a break for it, there's going to be someone on the other side. Does that make any sense?