Where's my Scottie?

If you have been reading my main blog, you should already know that I am becoming a fan of Brothers & Sisters, the new show on ABC. One of the reasons it is becoming addicted is the relationship between Kitty and her mother. Liberal mother clashing against conservative daughter. It is fascinating to watch. But another important reason why I am watching it is because of the character Kevin.

Kevin is the gay middle child of the pack who is also a lawyer. The character has been in the background of the series. From the looks of things, he is mild-mannered and gets along with all members of the family. Yet at the same time, his relationship doesn’t seem to be very strong perhaps with the exception of Kitty, whom he always goes to for gossip.

Kevin’s thread so far is limited but here’s what has happened. He was working on a case which called for him to have contact with one of the witnesses named Scottie. In one episode, he is interviewing Scottie for the case when he is stopped. Scottie comes to realize, “You’re a gay.” Kevin is clearly thrown off his tracks but doesn’t deny it. Scottie basically tells him that while he may be out, he is not proud. He calls Kevin a conformist.

During another interview, one of Kevin’s sisters runs into Scottie as he was arriving. She invites him to her and Kevin’s mother’s dinner party. He eagerly accepts much to Kevin’s annoyance. He brings cupcakes to the dinner and in the closing moments of the episode, Kevin smiles to himself and bites into one.

The next episode I missed half of, but from what I could gather, Kevin asked Scottie out on a date. Kevin’s mom however wants to go out that night and Kevin feels that he must accompany her so he cancels his date with Scottie. When Kevin and his mother arrive at the theater, he runs into Scottie with his date. Kevin is disturbed when he sees Scottie holding his date’s hand. Although an offer was made for the four of them to sit together, he nixes it.

In this last episode, Scottie confronts Kevin and beats a little sense into him. They set up a dinner date. During that dinner everything seems to be going well. They are connecting and Scottie leans over and kisses Kevin. After that Kevin shuts down. During the walk back, Scottie asks what happened with that kiss. Kevin says that he isn’t comfortable with public displays of affection and that he wouldn’t be even if he was straight. Scottie calls him on his bullshit and says that the real issue is his own homophobia—that he was really not comfortable in his own skin. Kevin shoots back that if Scottie knew him so well, then he would know that kissing him in public was the wrong thing to do and he should let people mature in their own time. The next day, Scottie shows up at Kevin’s door to apologize. Kevin admitted that Scottie was right, kisses him in front of a neighbor, and invites him in.

In some ways, I feel like I am Kevin. I am that guy who will stand in the back, content not to be noticed. I do have my own homophobia. I’m not comfortable in my own skin. I’m lost in this gray area where I don’t feel gay, straight, masculine, feminine, right, wrong, or anything. There is a disconnect in my life where I don’t know where I am or who I should be. And I don’t want to bring anyone else into this hell or in a lot of cases, let them even know what I feel. Sometimes, I think I need a Scottie to shock my system and to call me out on my BS.