Thank you.

Yesterday I went to the library in town to do a few things: email some high res photos, study a little for the LSATs and donate the book, The Full Spectrum, which was mentioned in the previous post. I was emotionally moved by some of the stories and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to let go of it. Since finishing it up a few weeks ago, it has remained in limbo (my backpack.) Would it join the rest of my books in my bookcase, or would it join the thousands more in the public library?

I only became aware of this book through Brian’s site. In his post, he challenged his readers to make the book donation. I never felt I should donate because of his challenge but I think that his intentions mirrored mine which eventually popped up. Books that deal with queer issues are not easy to come by in the surrounding communities. If the book finds its way into one other person’s hand, then I feel it was worth the awkwardness (continued below.) I keep imagining that closeted youth, finding the book, going to a quiet corner, and reading it. It’s a bit romantic, but I hope that I did a little something to advance our cause even though I still feel a little on the outside.


The longest three seconds of my life:

As I was leaving the library to go home, I went up to the circulation desk. Now, I’ve seen this same lady work the desk for quite a few years. We may not know each other, but we definitely recognize each other.

“May I make a book donation?” Oh yes, I practiced this line so often in my head that I made sure to get the grammar correct.

“Sure!” The lady replied almost too enthusiastically.

Gulping, I opened my bag, pulled out the book, and laid it out in front of her. I made sure to watch her face and see the reaction. With her big smile and lit up eyes, she picked up the book and began to read the title.

“Okay,” big pause, “thanks…”

She never looked back up at me and I turned to go.

“Thanks,” I said.

As I opened the door, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her take the book and lay it on a chair behind the desk. I wondered if that book would ever go into circulation.