I'll have the variety platter please.

I’ve been wondering how I can inject myself into the local gay community. Not that there is much of one—at least that I know of. I’m not really into the bar scene and will only go if my friends are there. It seems quite clear that an outing to Trumans is crossing the line of comfort for them. I’m too chicken to go alone. But that’s any social scene.

Las year I noticed that there is a GLBT book club at Barnes & Noble. So the other night I went there to find out when their next meeting is and what book they will be discussing. The next meeting is in a couple of days and they will be discussing a cowboy book. After doing a quick search of it, I found it: Longhorns.

Looking at the book’s back cover I decided that I’d wait for the next meeting which is next month. The lack of time wasn’t the issue. Given the size of the novel, I could knock it out in two days. The plot didn’t interest me. From the back of the book:

“The Double H cowboys are a touch bunch, and none of them are gay—exactly…”

“…an instant hankering for… the straight ranch boss…”

First of all, I do not need a flashback to Brokeback Mountain. But the thing that really turned me off was this vibe of having to prove how “masculine” and “straight acting” these guys are. For those who know about what happened between me and Moose, you can probably see why I’d be hesitant to get involved with that.

See, I’m getting to the point where I don’t care how butch or how fem guys are. The more that I am becoming exposed to various gay men, I find that my worries of how I will be associated with them are disappearing.

A while ago, I used to say that I didn’t care for effeminate men and that I like straight acting men. Now it doesn’t bug me as much. Actually, one of my latest crushes was on a guy who comes off, well, a bit of a flamer. But I like him not because of his mannerisms but because he was witty, engaging, and a blast to be around. I got to know him as a person and as a person he is very attractive.

When I see people, or in this case books, trying to point out masculine men, I get a little annoyed. Yes, I know there are those types of guys out there. When it comes down to it though, it feels like I’m being dragged back to a point of view where there are only certain types of people that I like. And that is a distasteful thought. I recognize that my preferences lean towards a certain ideal. But what I have felt for real has been varied. If I could provide you with pictures of the various guys I wouldn’t mind having my way with you’d probably wonder if I have any criteria on what my ideal man would be. Honestly, I don’t think I really have a clue.

I don't need a cowboy. I just need a man.

I thought that this book would just pander to my own lusts rather than giving my mind something to chew on.