Boytoys not wanted.

In my job I only interact with two supervisors. There’s Alisha and Mark. Mark is higher than Alisha but essentially they provide help whenever we have issues with our tasks. For the most part, I interact with Alisha because she’s only two seats away and out of habit, whenever I have problem I always try to use a chain of command. She’s the first one I go to on that chain. I have no problem with Mark. In fact, I find him to be me more personable but I try to keep my distance with him.

My usually defective gaydar was beeping away the second time I met him but I never really got confirmation that he was “family” until about a month later. He doesn’t talk about his personal life much in front of the group. He’s out, he just doesn’t share but I did catch him one time mentioning his boyfriend.

Eventually, Mark figured me out. It’s kind of hard to describe how I knew that. But basically there was a look that said, “I know about you.” Well I know that you know. But to this day, we both haven’t said anything.

Towards the end of the project, in one of the last groups of temps to be brought in, there was a rather attractive guy named Chewy. That’s not his actual name but a nickname that Michelle and Kelly gave him. You see, they observed him chewing tobacco and spitting it out—hence the nick name. Eww. I laughed about it and forgot about him. But I did notice that Mark seemed to like this guy. At the time, it seemed like Mark had a crush or that he knew this kid from somewhere. Again, I didn’t think much more on it.

About a week before the layoffs, Zoe, Lindsay, and I were near each other and Zoe remarked how good looking Chewy is. Lindsay said that she didn’t find him that attractive and I agreed. She said it was the long face. For me it was the tobacco chewing during work, and the fact that he had Chinese lettering tattoos up and down his arm. Why non-Chinese people do that, I have no idea. But Zoe said something interesting. She said that she thinks that kid might be gay. I did a double take on the guy because it never occurred to me.

“No. I don’t think so.”

I kept an eye on Chewy and noticed his interactions with Mark. In every instance, it looked like the whole thing could be innocent. Then the next day, Matt was walking by the cubicle farm while most us were standing getting to leave. Matt is the hunky former marine. As Matt walked by, I observed Chewy focus in on Matt and followed him as he walked by. I knew that look. Bingo!

Now… I regret doing what I did next, but I was so excited that I did it anyways. I went back up to Zoe and said, “You remember what we talked about yesterday? About Chewy?”

“Hmm, hmm.”

“I think you might be right.”

“How do you know?”

“Because my gaydar is pinging like crazy.”

A couple days after that, old Ruth and I were talking about the girl and guy who seemed to be flirting. She kind of surprised me and said, “But it’s not as bad as Mark and [Chewy.]” Well apparently, Mark and Chewy had been noticed and was becoming the subject of the cubicle gossip.

I thought that Chewy was going to be hired in before me. He was promoted to data entry almost immediately. It took me two and half months. He was chummy with Alisha and Mark. I only talk to them when I need help solving a problem. I figured Mark would have his back. Nope. Chewy was gone in the first round of cuts.

Michelle and I were talking about it today. She sat in the same row and right next to Chewy. She described how he was taking pills, seemed stoned, slept on the job, and how much Mark would come by and touch him and stuff.

I’m not saying I’m jealous or anything, but I have been wondering why Mark hasn’t done much to acknowledge me. I’m not saying that I want him to come by and touch me and stuff. But it would be nice have more than the “I know about you” look.