My Paranoia

Since I had a few extra bucks, I thought I could go take in a movie. Sara was still here for spring break. I was hoping that she, Adam and Season might want to go do something. The plans never made it though. Sara never answered the voice mail message that I left for her. When I called Season, she was over at Rachel’s (Adam’s sister) house. Sara was expected later. I went over there early in the evening and ended up watching the second Kill Bill movie. Movies like that don’t interest me much but I watched it anyways. I ended up getting into it, but still I have no desire to see the first or see the second again.

Sara brought Adam in when she finally arrived. They both entered without saying a word to me. For a moment, I was really nervous. Normally, Adam would say something like: “Hey Davy, what’s up?” This time, he had a sort of scowl, a bad mood. Did Sara tell him? She said that she wouldn’t. I kept my mouth shut. It seemed to be the best course of action for the moment. Adam indicated that he had a migraine. Perhaps I was in the clear. It still makes me wonder.

Looking back on it, I guess this is just an example of some of the paranoia that I have to deal with. The fact that I've told someone means that I've lost the ultimate control. Someone knows that I'm gay and can spread it around and there would be nothing I could do about it.